When I heard they say BlackBerry will soon no longer available in Indonesia because this big company experiencing bankruptcy and has sold its shares to Android, I feel like I will missing mine. I don’t know what will be happen when BlackBerry stop operating, am I still able to use its applications? Or just like they said that I have to threw it into the water?
Rainy season in October, this will continue until December. Where the people changes their style of dress from “open style” to be completely “closed”. Where an umbrella will be the highest sales up till end this year and where motorcycle’s drivers looking for a coat. I love to watch those changes, wet roads, muddy shoes leaves a dirty footsteps on the floor, heads are covered with umbrella and the people walks in hurry or sometime don’t care at the rain at all. Some are walks in dejected faces, some even walks in confidence. And I no longer afraid of rain drops fall on to my head, I no longer feel headache soon after it hits me, I feel more strong now. I love to watch the sun hiding behind the clouds and the area suddenly cloudy.
I enjoy this season, cool and fresh. No dusts, no more humid like months before. Feels like I stand somewhere far from my city, not in my country or even somewhere unprinted on the map. A feeling that always raise when the sky turn to cloudy and I can feel soft wind hitting my skin. I feel like I was in the same mood along ago, somewhere, in another life. I believe that I once lived somewhere in this earth as “someone” opposite with I am now.
I once told him that I can forgive thousands mistakes one’s made. That no one allowed to determine which part would make me angry or sad or happy. I have myself unreadable, because I love to be like that. So I warned him to be careful. He said “I understood”.
Now I understand, why he said so. It’s because he thought he’s too clever to understand me, and considered that I am – readable. He has splashed a little black dot and thought it’s okay. No, I’m not okay. He has walked too far.
This is what I’m afraid about.
I’m afraid that I have no more heart because that little black-dot looked BIG for me now while he thought it’s just a PIECE, because he considered me – readable.
So I wonder, why should I stay here facing the same non-sense? Why should I fight for nothing? Isn’t it more easy to dump away all those who tries to splash dots on my face? Isn’t it more easy to erase their faces off this scrapbook rather than keep it?
So I told him that he’s not that clever, that he’s not that awesome to me. Because that little dot that he thought a “piece” has been a Big matter for me. And I no longer need him entire my life.
And I’m going to dump him.
Erase him – Forever.
Wake up with messy hair, feel unwell. It’s like another day, the first sight is my pets waiting for me on the back of trellis door, as if dancing I like when they altogether moving up their tails left and right-left and right, as if they have planned it every time I appear. As if it’s a morning rules I have to payback with crackers… Then they forget their dance and I left behind watching them enjoying their morning meal. Continue reading
Not a best month I think since all my pets infected by virus called Distemper. A virus which is incurable with just taking pills most. Most are ended with death. I know I shouldn’t ask “why”, everything has reason and each reason, both it is ending with goodness or badness will soon taking you to a point that you need to do more and more for something better. Continue reading