S I S

Since November 2012 (If I correct about the month), my sister and her two children officially moves to this city. And she starts her business in culinary just because she trust her ability in cooking is the most-best than others can do. So she choose an empty little shop my father own it to start her new fortune.

My mom support her like hell, while I was worried that my sister will soon do ά thing just like she did in the past. And when I showed what I worried about, Mom even accused me as a cruel sister. “You’re ά hater” she said, “no forgiveness in your heart even ά piece! Are ƴøυ jealous that she will become success one day?”

Then I started to believe that Mom was right, maybe I’m jealous instead of worried. Maybe I’m the only one in the world that have no mercy for things happened in the past.

Her food stall located right front of my little shop. She took two stalls at once but only one she uses. First day went sad, even the days after. Ƴøυ can count how many people have ordered her menu through the empty dishes placed on the sink. She blamed the women who rent another stall my father own as the cause. This women also selling food just like my sister and she has already befriending this business far before my sister thinking about it. Maybe she already selling food for 20 years or more today. It is a long period to gain ά loyal customers of course.

My sister’s stall and her’s are next to each other. Everyday she sees the buyers only come and go with plastic bags contains food that they bought from that women. And the more she watch it the more she blamed the women.

The second week, my sister complained about this situation to my parents. She wants to kick this women so that all the buyer turn and shop in her place. I’m the one who were sent protest. I know that my voice will be ignored, my protest will never be heard, but I keep trying to stop her intention.

No one cares… When I try to convince them to give ά little time to that women, at least until end the year.

No one cares when I try to spell out the worst possibilities may happen if they kicking her out like that.

My parents were like being hypnotized. They only believe my sister, they sure that they have to help her kicking this women. They were as if loss their irrational thinking.

And I hate them …

I knew this women who I called ‘sis’ very much. She’s a widow who raises 4 children. She’s ά hard worker and if she now can enjoy the life and all her children’s needs are fulfilled, I think it’s ά well-earned. And also after moreless 20 years and she has ά loyal customers, for me it’s ά fair thing. But that’s become ά big problem to my sister. Or maybe she silently admit that this women is ά torn which can hamper her dreams so that she eagerly wants to kick her out.

Since the news of her expulsion heard by this women, she came to Dad and begged for ά little time. She also begged for me too to discuss and convince Dad to give her time. She begged to be allowed to keep opening her stall until mid December. But when I talked to Dad, that was the time I hurted. Dad wasn’t like Dad I knew before. His words cuts me deeply I can’t forget until today. By the time I realized, my worried were true. Past has already here, my sister brings the past to be served to the present. And everything has change I even just realize it. My Dad has change, his words change, his face, his authority, his wisdom, even his assertiveness. They were as if extinct in the day we were talked. I left his room with feeling of uncertainty. I’m not sure if I was sad . Because as I closed his door room, I remember I smiled and the leave.

I met the women and said “Ƴøυ better leave. I know ƴøυ must be sad, I’m sorry I can’t help ƴøυ.”

She cried.

“This is hard I know. I suggest ƴøυ to leave, if ƴøυ have ά dignity”

She lifted her head, “What ƴøυ meant?”

“If they don’t want ƴøυ to stay longer, it means your place is no longer here. And when ƴøυ stop fighting for your place they wanted, it will be soon your winning. Just leave, find the better place, prove them that ƴøυ can gain ά success in other place. Just like I said, ƴøυ have dignity. Don’t let them to ask ƴøυ to leave twice. I’m defending no one. I just can’t help ƴøυ.”

That was the last time I talked to this women, the “sis”. She said goodbye and we hold each other, and that was the time when I feeling so sad, that was the time when I fighting to not letting her know that I wanted to cry, not because she will be leave, but I re-remembered Dad’s words in the room. And that was the time when I blamed my sister, her presence has change everything. That was the time silently I pray for the “sis” for her to gain more success out there and also that was the time I want to watch my sister’s ruins.

She is in big trouble now, trouble that she creates herself, same as other troubles she creates in the past. But I already vowed that I better sit and watching. My parents change, their vision about me also change. I know deep inside their heart, I was right. But they’re to shy to admit it. Meanwhile the women has found the better place. She rent ά space across ours and her loyal customer keep enjoying her menus instead of my sister’s.

My sister hasn’t show any progress at all. Financial problem, that’s always her complaints. I know she needs ά help. Sometimes when I look at her face, my heart broke, I feel pity for her. But if I remember what she has done to me in the past, it suddenly stop my intention to help her. Ungratefull sister, that’s all I remember about her.

I’ve been thru the same situation just like she having today. So I fully understand how tired her brain and soul to think of how to get out of this trouble.

She never dare to ask me for help. Because she knows, the answer is “No”.

But really, no matter how bad, she’s still my sister and will always like that. I refused to give a hands by giving her money to solve her problems just like our parents usually did to her. However she needs a help. So I think this idea may could help her.

A coffee shop I design could be ά good solving. I’ve been thinking about this last year, before my sister ruins it by taking two stalls at once. She said one stall for culinary and another one is for drinks or mini coffee shop. And she sent my mom to talk to me to cancel my plan about coffee shop. They closed their ears when I sent protest! I ran to my monk and fully anger ranting like crazy. My monk waited until I totally calm before he saying this “whatever anger in your heart now, just collect them and throw it to the air. Let the universe to manage your anger, just let it go. If you have a plan and someone trying to stop ƴøυ, just take it in positive way. It’s the matter of time. Maybe this is not your right time to manifest your plans, maybe some other time we never know. Ƴøυ should thank that person who trying to stop ƴøυ”

All his words suddenly echoing when I see my sister’s panic face. When those two ladies were talking seriously to her. I know what topic they were discussing based of my sister’s expression. This is the time, I said to my self. I have to start to re-planning my delayed dreaming. I may never help her with money because I no longer trust her. This plan who knows could be ά “springbroad” for her to gain success. She will never run that coffee shop she ever talked about. This help I hope more precious than giving her money to solve her problem because it will never happen. She keep in trouble if ƴøυ give her money.

Then I remember the women, the “sis”. I remember my parents. Then ended up on the shadow of my monk’s face. I don’t know who I should thank for. My mom? Dad? Or my own sister? – wonder…

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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