Hello all….

It’s good to be back and writing and sharing with you all.
I’ve been away for months since my last writing about BACK TO MY WORLD.  The first thing I do when I log in to my WP account is checking my followers and want to find out who has leaving me and also still keeping me in their “following list” during my absence. But no, I didn’t do it. Or you can say I don’t want to know it. Life is sad enough to put one more sadness.

Let me start from here…
I’m away for my life. I’m away to fight for the future. And it was seriously feel like back to war area where I once defeated, it was like I back to re-grabbing my victory after all the failure tasted in that hard situation.  And still, the circumstance doesn’t always created to complete what we need. It teaches me hard even more to keep thinking and fighting, sometimes I have to go through the condition that I personally didn’t want it.  The situation that leads me deeper to the thing called “defeated twice’.

Many things I have done and many things happened during that time, mostly disaster. But I never stop eventhough some of them called me “I’m out of my mind” because I’m too hard to win this situation. For me it’s not fair when I found out someone that My Dad believe so much in handling his houses-renting business has cheated behind him.  But when I tried to help Dad and showed him the evidences of his deceit, I was told to stay away, said that I’m too “young” to handle this business. But I didn’t stop. I don’t care even Dad doesn’t believe what I showed him, what I care was I have to stop this guy before he gone too far. You think this is easy thing to do? No… You have to face the new bad situation. You’re being hated by those who didn’t stand by you and it’s happened to me. They called me crazy, they called me “The Smart Bitch” and laughed at me.

And I think they are right. I start to be crazy. The more they criticize me, the more I find the way to knock them down. I learned from the hitting sun, from the cold night wind, from the crowded, from the emptiness, from the sadness and happiness, from the anger, from the wise thinking – that I have to be cruel to face them all. And the consequence of this, is… They hate me…

I’m not success – Even though I succeed to dump that cheater who has cheated my Dad. I succeed to run my mini store. Succeed to study the situation and the people who renting my Dad’s houses, to study the weakness and lack of each property. But I’m not success to convince my parents that I care for them, not success to convince them that I will look after them. I’m still no one…

Some are loving me but most people hating me and I can’t turn back the time. But I never regret, I savor this lameness even though sometimes I feel empty inside. My fight is still long… Can’t drowning in this hard thinking, that I always convince myself. Sometimes standing among those hater, there the real battle is started. And I promise I won’t stop. I will keep fighting for my life, for my future, and also …. fighting for my parents safety.


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