I have to admit that I’m broke now.
I know this is tragic. I don’t know how to manage things, I don’t know where all my money gone and I don’t know how to handle this situation. I’m not a gambler, I even not a shopaholic.
I have debt in the bank, I facing the situation where my business showing an uncertainty condition day by day. It changes me to be a sensisitive person, I can easily get angry or feel offended sometimes with no reason. How tired I feel now….
I went to my auntie, she said the best thing I can do is to give it all to God and pray alot. Then I visited my old friend, she even surprised and didn’t believe that I’m dying financially. Then the topic switched to our times when we were still in the high school. I came to my sister and trying to pour out all my anxiety, she listened but then said “we are alike, I have the same problem too…”. Mom doesn’t help me enough, instead of giving me a way out, she complain alot about how wasteful I am. So … All those visiting are wasted.
My auntie could easily said told me that shit because she never facing the situation like I experiencing now. She could easily (with big smile) suggested me to give it all to God and pray alot because her business today straight through like a rocket. She just giving me headache with all her sermons. I don’t need that !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And now I don’t know what to do.
I try to convince myself that there is still a way out, but I fall in hopelessness afterwards. I try to be sure that the miracle is still exist, but then I hesitant, I got this feeling that there is nothing left for me…
I don’t know if you feel the same way but this annoying me so much.
The more less money I have, the more things I want to buy. Sadden, isn’t it ???
If you read this, please show me the way …
Cheer me up, make me smile, tell me a good reason why I have to survive.
Because finally I ended up in this circle thought : what do I fighting for ?