I don’t understand why Dan was so annoyed and also I don’t understand why I was so angry?
I knew Dan for so long, nearly 5 years and I knew his favourite bad habits: drunk everyday. One day (few years ago) we had argument about smoking and drinking. According to him, he’d prefer to drink rather than smoking. Me, I’d prefer smoking than drinking eventhough both I never been touch.
2 weeks ago Dan came to visit me and he was so excited knowing that we’ll meet again. When he finnaly arrived, I had such a bad feelings through his behaviour. He never changed, still drunk and…. Well, much more. Second night, I took him to a restaurant for dinner and he ordered for (again and again) beverages which contained alcohol. He had it soon after dinner and behaved stupid afterward.
He couldn’t focus on what we’re talking about, he spoke to me in a high tone (maybe for him it sounded low) and acted like a kid. People arounds were stared at us and then acted like they didn’t notice this when I found their eyes. Just incase he would make more silly things, I decided to take him out of that place and driving him back to where he was staying. On the way headed to his guesthouse, he keep talking…talking and talking : nonstop. Until then I rebuking him, “Shut Up!”, and he went silent.
Soon as I said that, I realized that “Yes” I wanted him to “Shut Up”. I realized that I fed up with him, couldn’t allow him to do the same stupid things no more. Then it was my turn, I talk…talk…talk…. in high tone! I revealed all annoyance kept for long time in my heart and didn’t give him a chance for speak or at least to interrupt.
The day after, Dan left. He wrote a message “You’re not someone I knew before, you dissapointed me” – I stunned and tried to recall what I have done?
For me, I never change, I still a friend he knew long time ago until now. And for me, he never changes either. Even getting worse and worse. Talking about dissapointment, who felt one? Me? or Dan?
I feel sad to know that I have one friend named Dan who have two characters. My real friend Dan is the one when he’s not drunk and the opposite is the second Dan. But mostly I found him drunk instead of he’s not. So that’s what I’ve tried to tell him, that I missed my Dan I knew long time ago, not a stupid Dan who sat in my car with his red eyes smelled like dog’s vomit.
When he’s gone, I tried to rethink wether I have hurted his feelings and felt a bit guilty for what has happened but it was only for 2 days. Days after, I stopped blamming myself and believe that I didn’t do something wrong.
Until today, I still haven’t found the real situation both who was wrong and who was right.