Fate Vs Attitude

If

you

Can’t

chAnge

the

Fate

then

cHange

yOur

AttiTude

!!!

Unemployment

I’m unemployment now and it feels like a hell. Not because I can’t afford for my needs but merely I feel something freed from my life. It’s been one month since I quit and for that long I keep pretending as if I’m still ‘exist’.

In the morning I pretend as if I’m in hurried infact I’m not, I’m totally free now!
I dressed up neatly, I also have prepared the answer (just incase) the old lady next door asking me where to go, I’d answer “Working”.

When I’m outside, I wonder : where should I go?
Maybe I’ve been 30 times sitting around at the same book store, or lunch at the same cafe, or just walking around to the different Malls but finally ended up to the first one when all have been visited by me.

When I’m out there, I have had set the time. Right on 6pm I’d be home and also have prepared the answer (just incase) the old lady next door asking, “how was work?” – I’d say “Very busy”

And there’s a time when I finally bored with all lies I have created. The more fed up when I realized that it wasn’t that old lady that I have lied to, but also (and the worse) to ME.

My friend called me one day (a week after I was fired). She said, “I arranging a small party at Smile Cafe at 3 pm tomorrow. I know you must be busy, but can you arrange your time for attending my party?”
That time I’d like to scream to say “I will coming” but I said nothing and very sorry to hear the word “busy” from her. So the day after, I came at 3.30 just to prove that I damn so busy. Friends were surprised to see me wearing not a uniform just like I usually did. I used to attend a meeting or party straight from my office without changing my uniform.

Today, if I remember all, thing I can do is shaking my head. Too sad to know that I no longer working, but the most sadden is when I realize that I lied to myself instead of  facing this reality.

And today, I feel relieved since I made a confess to one of my friend about everything. It’s a big surprise for me to know that she didn’t take it as a big issue, on the contrary she fully understand about the hard situation today and told me that many labors are fired and homed. God! If I knew that it would be this simple, I wouldn’t lie to everyone include to myself.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT FACEBOOK IS FOR???

My friends using Facebook. I using Facebook too.

Dan : 2 in 1

I don’t understand why Dan was so annoyed and also I don’t understand why I was so angry?

Regret Vs Sorry

Tired to listen for  my friend’s story  yesterday. Something about “regretting”.
Guilty  feeling  has been making her cannot sleep day and night for what she did in the past. She throwed a best friend of hers in to the hell to get what it’s called “MONEY”.  Then she came to me, trying  to discuss about this and to find a good solution. But we didn’t find any good solution but a new conflict. She hate me since then.

Pufff

Work… Work… Work…!
Busy all the time. Like a rollercaster it stopped in the night. Pufff…..! Working all the time and stay poor… Pufff.

Animal Instinct

What is the different between human and animal?
This question acrosed my mind when I was watching a lion hunting a deeron TV. I hate this scene to be honest. I feel something like compassion to see the deer flounder under the lion’s bite with no mercy at all. I imaging if I was there, what would I do? Shoot that lion to rescue the deer out of death? And then I think on the contrary : If I was there, maybe the lion wouldn’t decide to hunt the deer but me?! So I change my imagination from an animal saviour to be a lion’s hater. I said to myself  “I hate lion. Why it created to be a King of Lion?! It’s not a King, it’s a Killer!!”

The PAST

I met “the past” this afternoon, right when I’m deciding to stay away from things. “The Past” that once gave me joy in the beginning but tears in the end. “The Past” where I was still “white”, “pure” and didn’t know what it’s called “intrigue”.

SAD

If one of you remember the old banner putted on my site header (written “Fucktard”), I’m sure you will saying, “It was very rude banner”
And maybe that’s why I always facing a bad luck!

Welcoming “The Big Day”

Packing….!

Toothpaste, clean-white towel (thank’s titan), camera, mic, hmm.. what else?
Notebook, highlight-pen (“choose yellow and blue” said Marco. “Yes, sir!”
In 30 minutes the crew will picking me up and tomorrow is a big day for us.  And I’m NERVOUZZZ!!!

The Number One Racer

What a disgrace. Said that Ananda Mikola, Indonesian number one racer invloved in violence action.
Oh, it’s not only violence, but also abusing sex he did to the victim named Agung Setiawan.

MY OLD SHEEP

Run…Run my old sheep

Before I cut your throat

Shield

Shield,

Igram called me at noon yesterday, “Were you intentionally sending that message to Atna? She almost killed me, do you know that?!”

Where did you find HIM/This ?

Yes you’re right my friend, he’s cuuuuuuuttttttteee !!!!

Where did you find him ????

One Night Sex Seeker

I remember yesterday in the evening, when I was gathering with friends and immediately I saw an old friend (who was one class with me in High School) and he soon sat next to me, brightly addressed me with “Hi… Still remember me?”